Toddler Brandishes Play-Doh Pocketknife, Taken In By UK Police

Talk about insanity. After a toddler brandishes a Play-Doh pocketnife, he was apprehended by the UK Police as a “potentially dangerous situation” was defused. The toddler was tackled to the ground and taken in by a Specialist Firearms Command unit, according to sources at the scene.

While spending time in his mother’s London flat and cutting a lump of Play-Doh with his Play-Doh pocketknife, a Metro Police unit kicked the door down and charged in. Everyone was told to get on the ground.

Toddler Brandishes Play-Doh Pocketknife

take our poll - story continues below

Should Brett Kavanaugh withdraw over sexual misconduct allegations?

  • Should Brett Kavanaugh withdraw over sexual misconduct allegations?

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Completing this poll grants you access to Think Americana updates free of charge. You may opt out at anytime. You also agree to this site's Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

Per Babylon Bee:

The toddler was happily cutting a lump of green-ish Play-Doh with his official Play-Doh pocketknife in his mum’s London flat when a Metro Police unit kicked his door down and charged in, bellowing for everyone to get down on the ground. Several other operatives dove through windows and rappelled from skylights, tossing tear gas and breaching doors throughout the home until the 3-year-old was neutralized.

Later reports revealed the toddler’s mother had called in the threat, as she saw her little boy playing with the knife and began fearing for her life. “We tried to raise him right, but at some point he just lost his way,” she said, holding back tears while covered in a police blanket. “You never know when they’re going to go astray.”

“Londoners can rest easy tonight knowing that one fewer little tyke is prowling the streets with a deadly cutting object,” London mayor Sadiq Khan said in an emergency press conference held after the confrontation. “There is never a good reason to carry a knife, and we will come down with the full force of the law on any other toddlers who use cutting utensils on modeling compounds.”

When the young boy was checked into the police station, officers reportedly found he was packing other dangerous weapons about his person, including an inflatable samurai sword, a Nerf pistol, and a suspicious green substance that later turned out to be “a giant, disgusting bogey.”

How long did you think this was real? It shows how bad things are in the UK, that people really are seeing this as a serious story. In the off chance you weren’t aware, it is satire.

Previous Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey Pushes For Democratic One-Party Rule
Next California Senator Richard Pan Introduces Bill To Kill Free Speech

Join the conversation!

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment where we can engage in reasonable discourse.